Metalhead

If you ask anyone who knew David to describe him you would hear such things as “gentle”, “kind”, “selfless” “beautiful smile”. But, “metalhead”? Of the many joys in David’s life music may have been just below family in terms of importance.

David did not just love music; he loved heavy metal music to be exact. Metallica, Ted Nugent, Breaking Benjamin, Hailstorm and Chevelle to name a few. I really never thought about how much joy music brought him until I began to put some of his things away. I was surprised by the number of autographed pictures, posters, guitar picks and CDs I came across. Each of them representing a moment of happiness for David.

Like the movies, David always seemed to be at some concert, often by himself just enjoying the music. He would frequently travel miles just to see a favorite band and never failed to come back without some sort of souvenir.

Since David died I have tried to find ways to feel close to him. Not long ago I found his MP3 player. On this device was every song that was meaningful to David so I had to listen to it. I remembered from a picture of David with a singer that Breaking Benjamin had been one of his favorite bands. Knowing nothing about the band I put the first song on “Shallow Bay”. The music pulsed with crunching guitars. Though not of the same generation as Black Sabbath I recognized in the music the very things I had enjoyed about heavy metal as a teen. My head bobbed and I felt tears coming to my eyes. Then came the refrain…”do you want to f*** with me!?”

The tears stopped and the laughter began and then I realized that perhaps there had been a less innocent side of David that I had probably never looked at. Much of the music David loved had an edge and earthiness to it that contrasted with the way he was as a person. Music was present in David’s life everywhere, in his car, in his room on his computer and his phone. Clearly David loved music for the emotional release it gave him.

I asked David's best friend Nathan about the picture of David and Benjamin Burnley from Breaking Benjamin and it was classic. David had befriended the security guard at the stage door during a Breaking Benjamin concert. Afterwards the guard let him backstage where he wondered around until he found Burnley. They struck up a conversation and Burnley was so taken by David he spent 20 minutes talking to him like an old friend. At the end David asked for a picture with Burnley which is above. This moment became so precious to David his siblings told me it was one he could talk about for hours. David let music say what he could not.

As Nancy and I were talking about David’s MP3 player she told me about a favorite memory she has of David; headphones on, music blasting, eyes closed quietly strumming his air guitar. That is how I want to remember him. Rock on David.