Snow Angels

David loved the snow. From the time he was a kid until just this past winter he was usually the first out the door dragging along anyone who would go for sledding, building a snowman or an old fashioned snow ball fight. His time in Wisconsin and Colorado were school and work but he called us almost daily with “snow reports” and would regale us with stories of how high the snow was or how cold it was or the dangers of driving through foot deep snow. What I remember most was the site of David coming in exhausted with his younger siblings; wet and laughing.

David also loved making snow angels when he was a kid. He’d lie on his back and flail around with a look of pure joy then step back and look at us with a big smile. When someone dies you won’t remember the big events but the countless ways your lives were intertwined daily; a smile, a laugh, a smell, a place at the dinner table, a favorite phrase, a kiss on the forehead. It is at these moments that you encounter your loss at its greatest. Like a snow angel I can look and see he’s not there but he left an impression and is standing by next to me smiling at his work.

The other morning I was sitting at the computer early in the morning which is my “quiet time”. I heard the stairs creaking and my heart leapt. For just a split second I thought it was David because he was always the first up after me. When I realized it wouldn’t be him I began to cry. He’d always come lumbering down with sleep still in his eyes. We’d talk for just a few seconds before he’d plop on the coach to watch one of his cheesy science fiction shows the other kids would razz him about.

I cherish these brief encounters with my family. Take the time to build and remember these small moments in your lives. Look your family in the eye and say “I love you”, heal wounds, never leave anything for tomorrow, go to church as a family, take a day off and take your kids to the park, take a thousand pictures, give hugs and kisses until people tell you to stop because you’re embarrassing them.

While we usually live in the moment we do not give much thought to death and the fact that we may not get another day. David is gone but we cherish the many memories we have of him and he will live on with and within us. Live every day in such a way that you will never have to utter “I wish I had…” and live each day as if today you are meeting God.